The Pity Party
They come unexpectedly to ruin your day. You were in a good mood until they decided to barge in and bring misery into your life once again.
It’s the pity party, sponsored by (drum roll) your nafs!
They are here to remind you that you’re just not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough to be content with your life. And the pity party people never leave of their own will. They won’t leave until you’re sobbing your eyes out or sitting around with a big frown on your face.
“Ah, I’m still single. When will I get married?!�
“Will I ever finish this degree?�
“This baby is driving me crazy!�
“I only lost two pounds!?�
“Are they ever going to give me a raise?�
“Will he ever learn to clean up after himself?�
“I’m a terrible Muslim.”
How many us have repeated the words above? And I’m sure you could add your own.
Lately, I’ve been at war with the not-so-party people. In these short years of becoming Muslim, I have discovered another disease of the heart—self pity. Of course we are encouraged to have pity and mercy on our loved ones. Pity is the feeling of remorse at another person’s loss. Self-pity is the obsessive focus on our own losses. Life will always throw those unexpected curve balls our way—losing a job, failing a class or (gulp!) marital problems. It’s hard not to feel pathetic when your ego gets hit with a big whammy. Far be it from me to tell you that you shouldn’t be upset over something that calls for some tears. But…turn to Allah. It’s okay to be sad but not to let your current stress weigh you down. Self-pity has the power to suck all of the fighting spirit out of you—that very fighting spirit that you need to get back up on your feet. When you are depressed, please turn to God. Pour your heart out to Him and ask Him to give you the strength to get over the latest funk. And remember, one of the benefits of tribulation is that you are not suffering one that is worse than the one you are dealing with.
Many duas
