There is no “Muslim� God!

I have this recurring dream. I am in Masjid Al-Haram, in sijda, facing the Kaaba and I am crying bitterly. I’m not sad or afraid, but over-awed. I ask Him for forgiveness. I ask Him to be merciful. I tell Him I love Him.

In my dream, I am a worm.

There are days when I wake up and I’m at war with crazy people around me. I am at war with oppressive men and submissive women. I am at war with women who are so blind that they do not see beyond their men and their home. By no means do I think that being a homemaker is a bad thing. I love being a homemaker when I can. What I dislike is the fact that not one translation of the Quran is written by a woman. I dislike the fact that statistically there are more male hafiz than female hafiz. I dislike the fact that while women sweat over whose turn it is to spend the night with their much beloved polygamous husband, men decide that women cannot pray close to the Kaaba. Finally some of the women who dare to look over the shoulders of their men to peer at the world beyond, sign petitions, requesting *men* to let them pray close to the Kaaba. Or, we sign petitions requesting a *man* to have mercy and look into the Women's Protection Bill in Pakistan. Everyday is a struggle for women. We are constant warriors. My war may be different from my neighbour who has eleven children and two co-wives, but I struggle too. So, on some days I wake up to find myself in the body of a warrior who wants to shake up women, slap them on the back of their heads, and scream at them to “Look! Look, beyond your knees.�


Then there are days when I can’t be bothered at all. I become selfish. I wake up feeling sublime. Today is one such day. I woke up with a feeling like my whole body was filled with spiritual incense. Like it was smoking out of my body as I walk, drive, water the plants, and pack schoolbags. All I can think about is God. What am I but a worthless lowlife! All my degrees and medals and plaques do not guarantee anything; neither any wisdom that I may think I have, nor any source of pride that I may wish to exhibit. I feel like a worm from my frequent dreams. I am a worm from my dream. I feel so terrible that while my non-Muslim maid covers her head for *my* God, I do nothing for Him. I worry endlessly about writing proposals and papers and abstracts. I worry about what I will cook for iftar or what to wear to the upcoming conference on teacher education while it has been weeks since I last washed my prayer clothes. Last night, I couldn’t recall what comes after “Allahhumma iyya ka na budo walaka nusalee� in the Dua Qunoot! I don’t remember anymore the last 10 of the 99 names of Allah. I have forgotten Surah Yaseen. I opt for short surahs when I pray so I can finish faster. What have I become?! Am I not anything more than crawling worm?


I remember Mrs. Iman (my religious studies teacher) telling us that Allah loves how a child runs and clings to the mother who punishes him/her. He wants us all to be like those children; to run to Him in prayer even when He chooses to test us because only He loves each one of us with the love of 70 mothers. While driving today I caught a radio channel that offers excerpts from the Quran in Arabic and then a commentary in English every morning. I was too late and missed almost all of it but towards the end of the commentary the commentator said something that brought tears in my eyes. He said that Allah is so Merciful that His Mercy transcends beyond life. He may forgive those He wishes to forgive even after their death if they repent. It is His Mercy that makes me love Him the way I do. I want to sit in His feet. I want to wash the stairs of His house on my knees. I want to scream I love Him till my throat is scratched and bleeds. I want to bow down and cry.


I don’t want to be selfish today. I want to share my God with everyone. I want to share Him with Muslims and non-Muslims and even with those who deny His existence. There is always time to repent, to call out to Him. There is no *Muslim* God. God is Allah. Allah is Rab. Rab is Maula. Maula is Khuda. Call God by any name and He will answer you in the same manner.


September 23, 2006

assalaamu alaykum,

there is so much here. so much that i’m left a little speechless. i did, however, want to mention that there *is* indeed a english translation of quran done by a woman. it’s the one i usually read, and i love love love the translation. it’s called simply ‘the quran: arabic text with corresponding english meanings’ and it is put out by saheeh international. that’s the name on the cover. inside my copy there is an errata page that says this:

in response to recent inquires, this translation of the qur’an was done by umm muhammad, assisted by other members of the saheeh international team. she has edited a number of books for abul-qasim publications and authored several, including ‘realities of faith, from the guidance of surah ya seen, and a brief introduction to tajweed.

umm muhammad was born in the US in 1940 and embraced islam in 1974 in syria after completing intensive courses in arabic. in 1981 she moved to jeddah, saudi arabia, and currently teaches tafseer and fiqh at an islamic education center while continuing to evaluate and edit english language material for abul-qasim publications.

just fyi.

fi sabeelillah.

mashaAllah, very nice article

Thanks Zaynab! This is very useful info and I’ll share it elsewhere.

Theres an excellent translation of the Qur’an by Aisha Bewley.

One of God’s name in Qur’am is Mu’min So there is Mu’min God.

Salam

Salaam Muslimguy, yes indeed it is, but that “Mumin” means ‘one who gives (security/peace)’ and not Muslim. I don’t think Allah will call Himself Muslim

al-Mu’min            

The Remover of Fear,  The Giver of Tranquility,  The Source of Faith

The One who faithfully bestows the gifts of peace, safety and security.
The One who grants freedom from fear.
The One who illuminates the heart with faith. The One who is most trustworthy.

Salam

Salam

Yes and he accepts only Islam after someone has received the message.

3:85 If anyone desires a religion other than Islam, NEVER will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter He will be in the ranks of those who have lost (All spiritual good).