Adeela’s Placement
Adeela felt so bad about herself. She felt a little worthless, and her self-esteem just dwindled down from bad to worse. She had been waiting for this moment for such a long time, and she worked very hard to ensure that the result would be as what she had hoped for.
Now, when the moment of truth came, it was not as how she had imagined and expected before. Her application for entrance to her dream university was denied. Although she had actually made the grades, but, somehow, she did not get a place there.
The fact that her application was rejected didn’t really upset her, but there was something else.
She could still hear the words ringing in her ears. ‘Sorry, your application has been rejected. You did not make the cut. Your grades are ok but we received applications from many better students than you. Naturally, we only take the best. And you do not belong to the group’ said the administrator using a matter-of-factly tone.
That reply stunned her and it really hit her. She did not expect such answer from personnel of such highly regarded institution. I did not make the cut? There were many better applicants than me? Is he implying that I have wasted their time with my application? Why must he be so nasty? She kept on pondering whilst trying to accept the bad news.
Rejection hurts. And she has prepared herself for that possibility. But what hurts her more is the way the message was conveyed to her. The choice of word. The tone of the voice. It has created worse feeling than the rejection itself. It has damaged her confidence and self worth. She felt that her feeling slowly changed from sadness to resentful and now bitter and angry. All because of the words used by that man.
Adeela is a strong person. She can accept rejection. In fact, she has prepared for it by applying to a few other places. She is aware of the tough competition when it comes to admission to university. She also accepts the fact that it is not the end of the world to be rejected by that university. There are other places where she can gain her education.
But, the issue is this. Why must the person be so insensitive by saying it in such a manner? Couldn’t he find a better way of communicating and conveying the message? He can simply say that she didn’t get a place, and she will be alright with it.
A good and kind word. That was all she asked for.
She remembered a hadeeth of the Prophet Muhammad SAW on the importance of using good words when conversing with another person.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Charity is obligatory everyday on every joint of a human being. If one helps a person in matters concerning his riding animal by helping him to ride it or by lifting his luggage on to it, all this will be regarded charity. A good word, and every step one takes to offer the compulsory Congregational prayer, is regarded as charity; and guiding somebody on the road is regarded as charity.” (Saheeh Bukhari : Volume: 4, Book Number: 52, Hadith Number: 141)
She began pondering. She wanted to know the definition of sadaqa in Islam and began looking into the dictionary. Sadaqa is being defined as a charitable donation, anything given away in charity for the pleasure of Allah.
This is interesting. She began to contemplate further. A person who says good words is regarded as giving away charity. The hadeeth says that if a person gives good word to another being, then, he is actually giving charity and this act if done with good and pure intention, can gain the pleasure of Allaah. How wonderful and easy Allaah has made for us to gain His pleasure. She smiled.
She thought about the person who was rude to her earlier. No wonder Allaah has stated that good word is charity. She really felt like a failure when the administrator put her down that way. It was not a good feeling. In fact, it felt terrible inside her. If only that person had used a better way to tell her. Choose a better word. Use a better tone.
How simple and easy it is to make a person feel bad. It just needs a few wrongly used words and a I-Don’t-Care tone, and there goes the self worth of the other person. The confidence can totally be destroyed if not careful. Within seconds a stranger can tear down another’s dream and aspirations.
Allaah, as our Creator knows His creations more that we know ourselves. He knows how rudeness and harsh words are capable of destroying a person, thus, He gives incentives for His servants to strive in ensuring only good and kind words and advice comes out of our mouths. We do not have to have wealth to be charitable. Use a harsh word? There goes your chance to perform charity!
Similarly, a good word used may make a person feel better about herself even if she is actually going through the worst time of her life. A good word can elevate spirits, can help change a sad face to a smiling one, can help restore faith in a person and can make a person moves on with her life with hope. Wonders of good words……
More importantly, Adeelah understood charity is not the only reward she would get by saying good words to others. In fact, practicing saying good words to others would protect her from the Hell-fire as stated in another hadeeth below
‘Adi ibn Hatim reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Protect yourselves from the Fire, even if with only half a date. If you cannot manage even that, then with a good word.” [Agreed upon] Riyad as-Salihin
Subhanallaah, Adeela now realized and understood the beauty of the act of good words. Thanks to the rude administrator. And she promised herself one thing today that she will always strive to ensure that she never utters any rude and harsh words to others again, Insya’Allaah.
She now has discovered a new way to earn a placement for herself, this time not in the university, but somewhere incomparable, the Jannah. The Jannah. Adeela’s face beams with joy. So, that is why Allaah has destined me to meet this rude person today. Thank you Allaah. Alhamdulillaah. She picked up the phone to make calls to the other universities she applied to. Life goes on for Adeela today…
Copyright © Sis Zabrina 2006
