To Wear or Not to Wear?

I thought the other piece was too dry and serious; but decided to leave it up in case someone somehow reads it (and actually stays awake through it ). I wrote this piece a while back; I am sure a lot of Muslim women can relate to it especially those of us living in the West.

To Wear or Not to Wear…

Dear fashion designers,
(or all those who make decisions on inventory matters in popular department stores (and other stores for the masses),

I am a late twenty something woman, wife, mother, professional contractor, with enough purchasing power but without any real buying options. What does that exactly mean? Let me explain…

It seems to me that somewhere in the upper echelons of the fashion industry, someone decided that to be stylish, a woman has to bare it all. With that decisive decision, the marketing forces converged with designers, celebrities, money brokers, to open the floodgates of really skimpy, tight, and see through clothing. Now, I can understand why these cheap clothes have been created, for the market is undeniably available (and of course demand can always be created by the will of the advertisers, but that is besides the point).

But it is really frustrating for those of us self respecting women, who actually choose to cover our bodies. We have the money (if the ultimate end is profitability), and I am sure it wouldn’t kill your profit margins too much to add a couple of inches to your skirts and make some of your shirts long sleeved. Yes, even in the summer, some women still choose to cover their bodies and go for lighter cotton materials that are still long, loose, and adaptable for the heat.

I always wondered why men get the option of having very conservative clothes available no matter what the season is. The fact that tight “muscle” shirts are still made for those who want it, does not detract from the other nice professional and casual wear that actually covers their bodies. But alas, the privilege of covering oneself is only deemed desirable for men; hence giving them the exclusive rights and variety of options for cool, baggy, and wonderfully modest wear.

I have seen really beautiful linen skirts that are short, or at the very longest come down to 3/4 length. Why oh why, can’t you make the same one available in full length. You can even make a very small percentage of them that way. It could be 1% for starters. You might be surprised, women may actually flock to buy the longest ones. And if they don’t, I promise, there is enough of us around that you really won’t take a loss for it. Trust me, just try.

Wouldn’t you even consider making professional clothes a little bit more modest? I can almost understand the lack of availability in casual wear, but when I do go buy a professional suit, does it have to come with a 3 inch skirt? And if you take the pains of making a longer skirt, does it have to have a slit that comes up to my mid thigh? I know someone somewhere decided every woman, has to make her body accessible to all men (and not vice versa); but can you at least give me the illusion of choice?

You can of course tell me, to go make myself clothes. Alas, I do lack the patience, creativity and skill to do so. I also come from a culture where everyone had to make their own clothes, because it is more economical. So I like the idea of walking into a store and picking out outfits. It is just one of those things, you understand right?

Do you actually get it? I am waving my money in your face. Please do make long skirts available for us, long sleeved shirts/T shirts, dresses that are both long and long sleeves. Including the variety of loose fitting, opaque materials will not break your bank. please do go to the extra trouble of including modest women in your catalog of outfits you would be really surprised how many women out there are craving real clothes.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

Modestly clad -by choice(*gasp*)-woman

I love this post of yours. It is so informative and funny. Lots of tongue in cheek references LOVE it!

Salamaat,
Thank you dear heart; I was kinda doubting this entry too…okay, let’s just say I am not having a good feature week :p

Salaam Alaikum Maliha,

You are right on target! Why can’t they make decent clothing anymore? Not every woman is out to attract male attention. Some women finding covering herself to actually be a fashion statement. Clothes designers need to get with the program. It is supposed to be an individualistic society, so why is one fashion supplied.

Excellent post and relevant issues that affects all Muslim women.

salaams,

Good points, and something to keep in mind… this is not only limited to Muslim womenm but there are a lot of women of all different religions and backgrounds that would appreciate more modest clothing!

So trye sister Shazia! A sister I know owns a market stall selling jilbaabs and the like and surprise surprise - who’s her main customers? NON-Muslims! **gasp**?

yeah, that should say *true* and not *trye*

Salamaat,
Non Muslims buying Jilbabs?! For real? Wow…

Shaz, a quick search online for Modest clothing yields up a lot of Christian and other links. So you are right about that. When I wrote it, I got feedback from my non Muslim friends saying “Amen”

Mshahin, thank you for your comment! I am glad you all could relate

Maliha,so true,you have no idea the tops/shirts I have wanted and only to go 3/4. I also want to look ,err *fashionable* at times too. These days, I tell my sis from msa to send me stuff from there, they are so good/fashionable and to top it, RESPECTFUL. There is a fashionista in every muslim mama out there, it’s just that the designers haven’t got a clue that it’s a market waiting to be tapped!

I think I’ve been having a good season so far. Been finding lots n’ lots of long shirts lately. Though some of them may be short sleeved or 3/4 length, it is still wearable. I look for matching, mostly cotton long sleeved shirts and wear it underneath. It doesn’t always have to be the same color of the shirt, sometimes dual colors look nice.

I really don’t like abayas; I can’t stand those angel sleeves. I don’t know about Shukr anymore. I find their fabric to be too bulky and way too long for my height (5’3”); I end up looking shorter. So the alternative for now, is to always be on the look out.  Maliha, thanks for the post.

Did you send this into the major retail chains and fashion houses?

Please do.

Salamaat,
Sf: awesome idea, I am going to start doing that too

Zubaida: I *love* fall/winter…the collections are amazing! i am the total fashionista too, love layering, pretty scarves, etc. My mom makes fun of the fashionable hijabi, but who says we gotta look ugly?

Maryam: I wrote it as a tongue in cheek post…but it may not be a bad idea to actually send it.

Asalaamu alaikum.

A few years ago, a group of sisters and I from around the country (U.S.) started harrassing Wal-Mart about more modest clothes in the girls’ section. We didn’t even get to the issue of women’s clothes, we started out on the matter of how our daughters (ha ha, yes, I was the ringleader even though I only have a son) don’t have access to remotely modest clothing. It seems that even the very small young girls are expected to dress very sexualized now. We all wrote and called complaining. I talked with purchasing managers at three different local stores. I explained that my concern was not only because I am Muslim, but that I would imagine that most people would prefer that they have more modest options for their daughters. And I stressed that I was/am talking about options - I’m not insisting on a complete revamp of what they purchase because sadly I do know that some people like to see their 7 yr-old girl looking like Britney Spears. But, that as you suggested Maliha, they could include a few longer skirts and dresses, some long sleeve shirts, some blouses that didn’t show non-existant cleavage, etc. And while I would say that the managers I personally spoke to were very nice, and claimed to be 100% in agreement with me, they also said that the fact is that the sexy stuff sells. We could not make them understand that we were not trying to claim that the short skirts don’t sell, but simply that longer skirts would also sell. We all came together with the same impression: retailers really think that our spending doesn’t amount to much and/or they would rather not have our money than to have to admit that there is something wrong with a so-called “free” society that refuses to give women and girls options. When the only clothes that can be found are trashy, what does that say about our freedom to choose? Apparently, the freedom of choice exists only up to a certain point.

Aaminah, I only have boys as well, but I totally agree with you, and admire your efforts!

well, I actually look at it as an opportunity… and alhamdulillah other sisters have too, starting up their own businesses to provide modest clothing. I applaud the efforts. And Nisaa also serves to promote Muslimah businesses because I think its important for us to support one another!

I think the biggest issue that I hear about is that the prices are higher compared to regular stores, but it’s obviously going to be since these are just start-up businesses, but inshaAllah if we all support the efforts of our sisters, some thing big might come out of it!!

Allah knows best.

Salamaat Aaminah, awesome effort Mashaallah and their response is straight up scary. I haven’t even touched the area of young girl’s clothing, it shocks me to see booty shorts marketed for pre teens. That’s just insane.

Shazia: I don’t really like to buy clothes online; because I like to try them on; see how they fit etc. I have bought a couple jilbabs back in the day, but i always have to deal with fixing them so that they can fit. The prices are also a big deal. I never pay full price on retail..i just wait till things go on sale to get it.

Another issue I have with online sales: is that they mostly focus on jilbab/abayah etc. Not actual skirts/long sleeves etc. and those who do, like shukr, charge just more than I am willing to spend.

You are right, everyone has to start somewhere and maybe in a few years time, the options would be much wider.

I hear ya Maliha! I also prefer to go to ‘real’ stores, and the sales are sometimes really great!

But, I did buy an abaya today from the hijab shop, as Muslim Apple said that she really liked hers… so inshaAllah I’ll see how it goes.

I think that we need to figure out what is the best way for sisters’ to promote and sell their products. I mean, the web is obviously the most cost-effective and easiest way for a start-up company, but for many of us (the customers) it is not our preferred way of shopping. But what are the other optins? Do you think that a better return policy is needed? Or do you think that the sizes are not the same as retail stores?

I would like to maybe get some feedback on this from other members as well, or maybe we could do a focus group or something on what sisters would like, what is a good price range, what are the real issues with online shopping, what would make it easier, etc… You know, to benefit those sisters that are trying to make a living from selling their product. What do you think?

Salamaat,
Maybe we can come up with a survey and send it to our loved ones and friends?

I am kinda short; so I mostly have length problems with most (long) things that i buy.

It’s not just sizes but variety of styles. You see the same kind of outfits being sold; tunic shirt, flair skirt, peasant type outfits…I would like to see more professional wear, more variety of skirts, variety of tops; layering; etc.

Does that make sense?