I emailed this to Shazia, because I wanted to clear up that I did not mean any offence at all…

”.I hope I didn’t offend YOU ...funnily I was actually thinking more about CHRISTIAN religions because I had been having this massive discussion on a baby board with the real right wingers about how women can’t speak in church or be church leaders and so on and it was making me nuts.

Honestly..I don’t know much about Islam at all and I try to fairly open minded about all of it and would never ever feel that a woman choosing to wear the hijab is a simple of oppresiveness at all.

However…...I tend to dislike organized religion, no matter what it is. 
Faith in God….no problem.
Being told how to have my faith in God….got issues with that.

I tend to look at religion through historical and political eyes and am fascinated in tracing back and trying to figure out where some ‘ideas’ and ‘views’ came from and in what historical context they may have made sense in.

Does that make any sense?

Plus you have to admit that in the history of both Islam and Christianity…..no matter what our Bible or Quran (Did I just spell that wrong???), people….men throughout our history have used it to oppress women.  The major religions of the world are patriarchal.

Historicaly speaking the male of our society HAS dominated and oppressed females….no matter WHAT the religion is and sadly the word of God gets bandied about to back it all up.

And you have to admit..when you are dealing with countries using things like the Sharia Law and laws where a raped woman is an adulteress….where the woman tends to be blamed for all sexual ‘indescresions’....you can see where I would be thinking about the ‘blame the woman’ thing too.

Please understand…..I do not mean to paint Islam with one broad and negative brush stroke…nor the people who practice it.  I do feel that Islam is getting a TERRIBLE rap in the media these days and realize that that is totally unfair to the religion and people…well people like you.

Again… I did not mean to offend anyone..that wasn’t the point of my post at all….my post came from a discussion about how we raise our girls and boys and what expectations we have for them and should we be teaching our daughters to fear men in this age of sexual predators.

And..one of the reasons I love your blog is that I get to learn about YOUR Islam, and I love that you share and educate and I truly appreciate seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.

I urge you to read the links that I was referring to and hope that that helps.

Best…

Crunch
“

Crunchy Carpet’s post highlighted an issue that you raised in your last discussion on polygamy - we should raise our boys to become conscientious citizens just like we put so much effort into raising our daughters.  In that discussion thread most women admitted that their husbands are practically no help around the house. This is where Crunchy Carpet’s post comes in; how are most men raised?

This is what I wrote on her blog – “I have a girl and a boy and I honestly try my best to raise them as equally as I can. My girl plays with cars sometimes and my son owns teddies and baby dolls. He pushes them around in a pram “just like Daddy pushes him.” I have never told him not to “cry like a sissy” and I’ve never asked my daughter to do chores because she’s a girl. I hate this “Boys will be Boys” mentality (although my son wears a tee that reads ‘Boys will be boys’!).â€?

Regarding the modest clothing issue, I’m quite opposite to most women. I don’t wear hijab. I wore it for six years but now I don’t. However, I wear loose, long dresses so that my wrists and ankles are always covered. I have never felt like I have degenerated myself as a Muslim woman or lost my Imaan because I don’t cover my head. This is because Islam is not a misogynistic religion.

I posted this without reading CC’s response. But, it makes sense anyway, I hope.

And CC, I didn’t see your post as an attack on Islam at all. You raised pertinent points that most mothers should consider when “mothering”

For the record… I don’t think anyone would be offended, CC’s comment just made me think of that question about Islam, but not necessarily because I thought CC was implying it.

And no, I don’t think that hijab = modest.

Suroor… always good points my friend. I only have boys, so I gotta take some notes! My husband does most of the housework around here, so they are getting some good training! And I do see a lot of sensitivity, respect, and kindness in my boys already, so inshaAllah, I hope they will turn out fine.

Just my two cents….Islam is a religion of equity. I’m deliberately leaving out ‘equality’, because that word implies a “If he/she can do it, so can I!” kind of mentality that is problematic.

Equity, on the other hand, is more the essence of Islam. Men and women have unique gender roles, responsibilities and rights, ordained by Allah Almighty, in His Infinite Wisdom.

It’s ignorance and unislamic cultural practises that land all of us into trouble. Some Muslim men have used Islam as an excuse to oppress their wives. Muslim women who are uneducated about their marital rights and responsibilities become sitting ducks when their husbands behave in this way.

However! When both Muslim men AND women are raised to love Allah, fear His punishment, and to learn their deen, things go a lot smoother for everyone involved. Misogyny is not even an issue, because Quranic injuctions and the teachings of our Beloved Prophet have elevated women to high levels e.g. Mothers are to be treated three times kinder than fathers, Paradise is at her feet, the Muslim woman can vote, inherit, choose who husband will be etc.

Shazia, you raise an interesting point. I wear the hijab, alhamdulilah, as a form of submitting to Allah Almighty. And as a way of stating that my body is my business, and I’m privatising my charms! However, wearing hijab doesn’t automatically make me, or any other woman modest. It’s more the inner work that matters, really, because having humility, chastity, kindness and consideration means that you can behave appropriately. Wearing a piece of cloth over your head but behaving inappropriately makes a mockery out of the whole concept of hijab.

Suroor, I do hope that an articulate and intelligent sister such as yourself does rekindle her faith in the hijab Both of you are awesome ambassadors for Islam. Your housetrained husbands and sensitive boys are testimony to that! May Allah keep us all on the straight path.